The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

For a few months now, I have been reading rather hefty books about biology or consciousness, especially books written by Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennett. One day on NPR I heard a discussion about The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. I was intrigued, so I bought the book.

It's a short book, not even 300 pages, but within those pages is a beautifully rendered biography of an American family coupled with a fascinating description of how scientific research works.

Henrietta Lacks was a very poor African American woman, born in Virginia and living in Baltimore. Because she and her husband had so little money, they could only go to Johns Hopkins hospital, where Henrietta Lacks was diagnosed with cervical cancer. This was in the early 1950s, before the Civil Rights movement, before doctors knew that much about how to treat cancers. There are graphic descriptions of her treatment. Although horrific, she was actually given the best care for that time period. In spite of the care she did receive, Henrietta died.

During the process of her treatment, however, a young doctor, George Gey (pronounced Guy), collected some of her cancer cells to use in his quest for attempting to grow cells in a culture medium.

This was a quest by many researchers of the day, and a quest that could be compared with the quest for the Holy Grail. Not much was known about which culture fed the cells best, or about what conditions the cells needed in order to continue living for an extended length of time. Usually cells would divide and multiply for a short time, only to stop and then die. Henrietta's cells, for some inexplicable reason, not only lived, but thrived. They thrived in almost any condition. Since that time, her cells, labeled HeLa and still very much alive, have been sent into space for studies on space travel, have been used in the discovery of DNA, have helped to find the nature of viruses and how they attach themselves to cells, and countless other research discoveries.

But that is only one small part of the story. Henrietta left behind a husband and five children, all of them haunted by the death of their wife and mother, and later hounded by doctors, reporters and con artists who wanted to either study the entire family as a research project, or to "cash in" on Henrietta's legacy. Included are side bars of social injustice, racial fear, and even Deafness.

The book does a beautiful job of blending scientific research with the personal lives affected. Lack of education, but more importantly, lack of understanding on every side, caused a tragic storm that lasted more than 40 years. The Lacks family was literally blown apart.

And yet, the book is also about redemption and enlightenment. It is the first non-fiction book I've ever read that actually made me laugh, cry and simply delight in awe. By focusing on this one family, Skloot manages to give a vivid picture of twentieth century America, its triumph and its shame. It's one of the most poignant and inspiring books I've ever read.

All I can say is: Thank you, Henrietta.

Just How Does One Grow A Pair?

Have you ever had the feeling like you don't count? It's as if everyone has a special agenda, but you're not on the list.

Maybe you don't ever feel that way, but that's my usual modus operandi. Part of the reason is because I am not very assertive, nor am I very loud. My voice is quiet and I am a rather small person. Sometimes I think I could be the only person in a crowd to yell "Fire" and never get caught.

When someone else is talking, I tend to defer and simply listen. Consequently, I am considered a very good listener. What people often don't know is that sometimes I'm not really listening anymore. I'm either thinking "but, but, but..." or "Geez, when are they going to stop!" But my eyes make contact. I look engaged. I respond accordingly. Sometimes I feel like Homer Simpson listening to Mrs. Crobapple: "blah blah blah blah blah..." I really do have attention deficit issues. It's not that I don't care about what people say. I really do care. I really do listen when people speak. I want to know what's happening. If I can help, I want to do that. It's just that I allow dominant people to take over a conversation, and so then my mind just starts to wander. Conversations really require a give-and-take to be successful conversations.

My passivity has always gotten the best of me. I have deferred to people when they were unscrupulous to me. Even when I knew they were outright wrong or cruel, I just let them say whatever they wanted to say. This is one aspect to my personality that I really want to work on. If someone says something out of line, I need to be able to assert myself. I should call their attention to it.

I'm just a little tired of being seen as a kitchen mop. But as long as I don't speak up for myself, I'll keep getting sopping wet.

When a Man Loves a Woman

This is my open letter to all men.

I want to start by paraphrasing First Corinthians 13:

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does NOT insist on having its own way. It is not resentful or angry. It does not rejoice in the wrong but rejoices in the right."

If you love a woman, you will treat her with respect. You will be truthful with her, even when you've done something you shouldn't have. She has a right to know what's going on with you. She has a right to help to make meaningful decisions for the two of you, or for your family. She's your family, too, even if you're not married yet.

When you're angry, even if it's at something she did, you will simply state that the behavior made you angry. Let her be a part of the change. Do not yell, or accuse, or be sarcastic. She is your help-mate, and most probably the mother of your children. Show her you love her by showing some respect.

Respect is the overriding trait here. If you don't show respect, then you don't deserve respect.

Let me tell you how I work. I am not a stupid woman. I do not appreciate jokes about flakiness, or PMS or menopause. These are rude, crude and beneath your dignity, and mine. When you make these kinds of jokes, you are really saying you don't think I measure up, that you think you are better than I am at something. You make yourself less of a person by exercising superiority. You also show ignorance of biology, and a flagrant prejudice.

I personally celebrate the English language by using "hip" vernacular. However, I use these terms full-well knowing that they may not be grammatically correct. I have a degree in English, for God's sake. Of course I know when something is grammatically correct or not. If you make fun of the way I talk, it just shows that you have issues with insecurity and that you lack a compassionate sense of humor.

When I make a decision about politics or about current events, I do so only after careful consideration and lots of research. Do NOT argue with me without having solid facts to back up what you say. When I share information with you, I do it in the spirit of sharing. I am not trying to change your mind or challenge you. To say "ALL you liberals..." or "You left-wingers..." only shows your insecurity and your own lack of knowledge, not to mention the fact that when you generalize, you are once again stepping into the realm of prejudice and stereotyping.

I am an honest person. I do not lie, cheat, or fool around. However, I am fiercely independent. When I want to go somewhere, or if I have to work odd hours, I will do so. I don't need anyone worrying about me, fussing over me, or accusing me of being unsafe. I don't need anyone to "take care of" me. I am quite sufficient to myself, thank you.

When I cry, that means I am truly upset, perhaps even inconsolably so. That means BACK OFF. Let me work through whatever it is. And if I am angry with something you did, I will tell you so. I expect you to listen and then state your own case calmly. I believe in sharing and in two-way streets.

But the minute you show jealousy, the minute you accuse me of something I didn't do, then it's over.

Most especially, if you call me "Bitch" or "Sorry" or "Worthless," then I don't have to deal with you. I will be out of your life. If you say "I hope you die," then I will be dead to you. I will break off all contact with you. You are not worth my time. And you, on the other hand, need some serious attitude adjustment. You can't say you love a woman and then call her names. That's not love. That's abuse. No woman needs to take that. No REAL man would do that. In fact, if you really love someone, those kinds of names or accusations would never occur to you. They would never enter your head, no matter how angry you might be at a given situation.

Words are just as damaging as slaps and hits. I choose not to be a victim--EVER.

Finally, if you are divorced from a woman, then she doesn't owe you an explanation for ANYTHING. She is not your venting service, or your confidant, or the punching bag for you to drunk dial.

So if you think you can get a rise out of me by sending me ugly emails or text messages, think again. If I have written you off, then I have written you off. You are no more. You are a small person with a small mind, so you can just keep your head in the sand.

Goodbye to you!!!